Advancing Your Fundraising Career & Improving Donor Relationships by Embracing Authenticity

Dear fundraisers and professionals,

In the world of fundraising, relationships are everything. But what happens when being your true self seems to go against the norms of professionalism? For many of us—especially those from underrepresented backgrounds—there’s an ongoing negotiation between who we are and who we think we need to be in order to succeed.

Authenticity isn’t just about showing up as yourself—it’s about creating spaces where others feel safe to do the same. Whether you’re working with donors, leading a team, or mentoring the next generation of fundraisers, living and working authentically can transform not only your own career but the entire philanthropic landscape.

That’s why I’m excited to share this conversation with Hans Cárdenas, a seasoned fundraiser who has learned firsthand that authenticity isn’t just a personal value—it’s a professional strength.

Hans, being authentic can go against everything we are taught to be successful in the “professional world,” especially for minorities. Can you share a pivotal moment in your career when embracing your authentic self had a noticeable impact on your work as a fundraiser/career?

I agree with your statement. Often in life we find ourselves negotiating how we want to act with how we think we should act, especially in a professional setting, and even more so in the philanthropic arena. Early in my career, I felt the pressure to conform to a certain image that I thought was expected of me. I didn’t completely change into a new person, but I definitely felt that I had to adjust my way of being, thinking, talking. I can’t name one specific pivotal moment because my journey through this happened over an extended period of time. As I gained more experience meeting with donors, I learned that my connection to them would increase if I was my true authentic self. By being myself, like they were being themselves, we were able to engage in deeper conversations, get closer to the root of their philanthropy and speak more candidly about the goals of the nonprofit I was working for at the time. It created a safe space for us to engage in philanthropy and resulted in a more meaningful partnership.

How has your identity as a Queer Latino man shaped your approach to connecting with donors and building relationships in the fundraising space?

My identity has been both a lens and a strength. Everyone has their own unique background. The more cognizant I became of my own, the more I sought to seek that out in others. The LGBTQ+ community is often “othered,” seen as outsiders. Much of my life has been fundraising for the theatre and opera, where many of our stories feature people or groups that are “othered.” Seeking this out in the art allows me to connect deeply with it and engage in meaningful dialogue with our donors. For example, Rusalka is an opera by the Czech composer Antonín Dvořák about a water sprite who longs for love in the human world and ultimately faces rejection. It’s similar to the famous Little Mermaid story, and while there are many ways to connect to this story, it is a very “gay” story. Similarly, with me being Latino, I found it hard to fit in when I first moved from Mexico. I was five years old and I refused to speak English, even though I learned both English and Spanish at the same time. I was used to Spanish speakers and felt like an outsider in the U.S. Quickly, I became comfortable with my new surroundings. I’ve had deep conversations with donors with similar stories or who have a passion for helping immigrant families.

What challenges have you faced in being authentic in a professional setting, and how did you navigate them to become a more effective fundraiser and leader?

One challenge has been balancing vulnerability with professionalism. We look to leaders for answers. So I’ve struggled with this feeling that I need to know all the answers for every single question I get. But I’ve come to accept that I will not know the answers to every question and expressing my vulnerability shows that I’m human. I also believe that colleagues and donors pick up on that and then respect me more. I love collaborating, so what better way to answer a question I don’t know than in partnership with someone else. I also think people will reciprocate vulnerability. This exchange creates a culture of openness and honesty and ultimately, in my opinion, results in better outcomes in the workplace. 

You’ve touched on a great point. What more can you say about how living authentically inspires others around you—colleagues, donors, or mentees—to do the same?

Living authentically sets a powerful example. I hope it has a ripple effect with those around me. People naturally mirror those around them. So, if I’m open and true to myself it gives permission for others to do the same. This is important in starting and growing relationships, whether with colleagues, donors, or mentees. With colleagues, I always maintain an open dialogue. It’s easier to talk about tough topics when you're being true to yourself. You’re not hiding behind some facade. You’re showing up as yourself and allowing others to see who you truly are. With donors, it makes work more productive. People think a lot of different things when it comes to fundraising. For me, it boils down to relationships. If there is a strong connection, then talking about a philanthropic gift is easy and enjoyable. The donor has a better experience fulfilling their philanthropic goals and the fundraiser feels good about assisting in that. There’s also a greater chance that the relationship will grow and that the nonprofit will benefit from that good will.

What advice would you give to fundraisers, particularly those from underrepresented backgrounds, about embracing authenticity in their professional lives?

My advice is to embrace your story and learn how to tell it well. There is never only one way to do things, especially in fundraising. Of course there are best practices and we should learn them. But once you learn them, you can put your own spin on it. I think about Ina Garten – who would actually make a wonderful fundraiser – when she started filming her TV show. She had never been in front of the camera before and experienced a rough start because people were trying to mold her into someone she isn’t. She was able to perfect being on camera when she took control and embraced her true authentic self, including her nervous behavior – which is part of her charm! (If you haven’t read her memoir “Be Ready When the Luck Happens,” do yourself a favor and go read it!) I’ll close this with final thought: surround yourself with people who respect and celebrate who you are. A job is a job, but it’s also a big part of how we spend our days. Work at companies that embrace diversity. It’s not just about raising funds; it’s about raising voices and stories that matter.

Sincerely,

Queers

About the Contributor: Hans Cárdenas (he/him)

Hans Cárdenas is the Director of Individual and Leadership Giving at San Francisco Opera. He has a lifelong passion for music and theatre and has 17 years of fundraising and donor relations experience.

Hans previously worked at the American Red Cross, where he was a celebrated fundraiser and consistently among the top 5% of philanthropy officers working in the individual segment. Often called upon by leadership and his fellow colleagues, Hans inspires collaborative projects and has participated as a volunteer leader in fundraising trainings. Prior, he served as Associate Director of Donor Relations at the Tony Award-winning TheatreWorks Silicon Valley, Development Director at San Francisco Playhouse, and supported the Stanford Challenge Campaign at Stanford Law School.

As a volunteer, Hans serves on the board of the Friends of the Willow Glen Children’s Theatre, giving back to the afterschool program that changed his life. He has also remained close to the Red Cross as a Sound the Alarm volunteer to make high-risk home fire areas safer.

Outside of the office, you will likely find him reading a good book or getting some exercise. He holds a B.M. in Music Composition from the Chicago College of Performing Arts at Roosevelt University. Hans was born in Mexico, raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, and lives in beautiful Burlingame...with his senior chihuahua, Lentil.

Connect with Hans on LinkedIn.

About Queer For Hire

Queer For Hire provides fundraising support and LGBTQIA+ diversity training for nonprofits, professionals, and corporations

Learn about our Fundraising Services <here> – we’ll lead or support your fundraising efforts, whether you need general support or want to focus on raising money from and for the LGBTQIA+ community.

Learn about our Fundraising Trainings <here> – we can coach your board, staff, and fundraising team on how to fundraise and how to engage LGBTQIA+ donors.

Learn about our other services <here> or our resources <here>.